Nannies, Part 1
Before you have kids the only thing you might know about nannies is the picture of exploitation you get from Nanny Diaries. Rich family, unloved kid, understanding nanny becomes surrogate mother. Before you have kids you wonder what sort of socialite life the mother must have in order to need a Nanny. Is she lunching at the Country Club again and helping plan for their next charity function? Or maybe the parents are a power couple, Mother/Father always gone for business travel or taking over new companies and laying off the workers. Fun! Okay, maybe you have completely different experiences with nannies in your past and know a lot of normal people with them, but I didn’t know anyone who wasn’t doing it the way my mother (and the rest of the family) did it. By themselves.
I was not working when I had twins. My husband was in a good job with a generous paternity leave.
We could not do it by ourselves.
Hell, we couldn’t even make it the first few nights at the hospital with the girls in our room. Funny story: Husband swore we had to try to do it ourselves on the second or third night at the hospital after the birth. Like, do the feeding every three hours by ourselves for the whole night. About two or three in the morning he was crashing (he’s not a night person) and just about falling over in the chair. I told him to forget it, call the nurse and have her take them to the nursery because we were going to have to leave the hospital soon and why not take advantage of the help while we could? I went to sleep. He tried to do the next feeding by himself before giving up. The nurse took them away shaking her head. I think we heard her tell another nurse the next day, “Look at them, they try so hard”. Hahahhaha…
Anyway, we were so lucky my parents volunteered to stay with us and help take care of them at the beginning. They got us through that vital period where you are brainless with exhaustion. However, my husband was going back to work. My parents were still with us, but it was making me very very guilty to have them stay up at all hours to help with the feeding AND make them carry the kids up and down the stairs AND help with the cooking and cleaning. The rest of our family and friends lived at least six hours away. So we started thinking about a nanny.
A nanny would provide another set of hands that were totally devoted to the children. We could keep going with the “one baby, one adult” thing we were doing between my husband and myself so that each child got the attention a single born kid would have gotten. We could do some of the household chores if someone helped watch the kids. We could clean something or cook something. A nanny would be able to do all that and (Bonus!) would be experienced with children enough to help advise us. It sounded like a good idea.
So we went looking for a nanny.
(to be continued)
Mom in Brief 2
- Cute things they did: A/Z: “I have something special for you, Mommy” (hand behind back) (whips it out) “Bread!” “Paper!” “Diaper!”
- Another cute thing they did: A in the car, searching her car seat: “Where are you Frosted Flakeeee? I have to eat youuuu.”
- Any more cute things they did: Z: “And that’s how you do it!”, A: “NAKED!” (throwing up hands and jumping in front of you)
- Current and ongoing obsessions: A: Black toy puppy is “my new pet” + chocolate granola bars, Z: popsicle (just one more!)
- Educational activity they did today: Speech Therapy on Wednesday and Thursday
- What they learned from it: “I want to go to a different school” (new places and schools are exciting!)
- What they watched on TV: Spirited Away – a bit too old for them, lots of Peppa Pig
- Cute things overheard on the monitor: Absolute silence (they’re not napping much, so night time is a very quick segue into sleep)
- Uhhh.. moment: Z having a huge tantrum on the lawn of her school because she wanted a pink flower, falling on the lawn, dragging at my shirt, screaming
- Hmmm.. moment: Z is the only one at school today with wet clothes covered in dirt. So it wasn’t a water day. Is she deliberately getting wet and making dirt angels…?
- Food: A: Granola bar extravaganza!!! Z: Popsicles!
- Interesting activity: Inflatable pool swim day (possibly last before weather turns cold)
Potty Training 1
(Read Part 2 here and Part 3 here)
So both the girls are almost potty trained. I say almost because Z forgets to go potty when she’s excited or busy or very upset. Both A and Z cannot wipe their own arses (I love those British comedies). That’s mostly my fault. I’m scared to let them do it because so far there’s been no playing with poo or poo on the fingers or pants or anything of that nature.
***A typical visit to the potty goes like this:
Them: “I have to go POTTY!”
Me: “Go then.”
Me (after two minutes): “Are you going poo or pee?”
Me (after four minutes): “POO OR PEE??”
Them: “PEE!!!”
Me: “Okay! Wipe and flush and wash your hands when you’re done!”
**********Alternate Ending***************
Me (after four minutes): “POO OR PEE?”
Them: “POO and PEE!”
Me (tiny note of anxiety): “Are you DONE?”
Them (eventually): “Yesssssssss!”
Me: (going over to open bathroom, sitting down on step stool put there for this purpose, getting wet potty wipe)
Them: (singsong) “I wipe the front and you wipe the back!” (holding up shirt/dress unnecessarily high)
Me: “Yesssss…. lean forward” (wiping accomplished) “Now, pull up your pants, flush the toilet, wash your hands” (washing own hands + departing)
***End current potty time
So, what did it take to get to this point? To start at the beginning, let me say that I was pretty scared of potty training. I had heard horror stories of poo paintings and peeing like puppies everywhere. Yuck! I had no idea if we’d be running around every few minutes wiping up pee or what. Still, they were getting older and I didn’t want them being the old kids still in diapers at school. Also, some preschools required potty training. Forewarned is forearmed, though, so I read about the process in the baby books and at Babycenter and around the net. I read the synopsis on how to potty train your child in three days/one week/some insignificant amount of time (can’t find article, just remember thought it was a crock since they go on to say that you have to reinforce the training for the next three months). I researched products and outfitted the place in preparation. We talked to the kids about it, warning them about the change for about a month (maybe more, as we kept putting it off ). Then, the weekend that Granny came to visit (yeah, Mom!) we said we’d do it. This is what we had:
Supplies, for two girls, about 32 months old:
- Bjorn potty chairs, 2, pink and white (had shown it to girls months before and they enjoyed sitting on them and wearing inserts as hats)
- Bjorn step stool for downstairs bathroom, 1
- Rubbermaid step stool we already had, for upstairs, 1
- Bjorn potty seat (goes on normal toilet) for downstairs and upstairs, 2
- Huggies pull-ups, Costco box(es) for day and night
- Reusable training pants, Blueberry
- Reusable training pants, some other brand I can’t remember
- Cute panties/underwear, 2T-3T size, washed and ready
- Little Looster “potty booster” for downstairs bathroom, 1
- Waterproof flannel pads, leftover from changing supplies
- Kandoo potty wipes, multipack
- The Potty Caddy, 2, picked up for fun – had stickers and book included
- Aquaduck faucet extender, 2
- Potty training books, but truthfully, no one read them
- Kalencom Potette Plus 2 in 1 portable potty and liners
- Misc. cleaning supplies, including paper towels and carpet cleaner
- Kiddopotamus Deluxe Piddle Pads, 2, for car seats
Starting Setup:
- Play Room (PR): Large waterproof pad under each Bjorn potty chair, placed in visible nook next to old changing table, side by side
- PR: Toilet paper, Kandoo wipe case, Potty caddies, extra pull-ups on old changing table and inspirational books + stickers at the ready
- Downstairs bathroom (DB): Bjorn potty seat on hook next to toilet paper where kids can get it, Looster Booster (started in front of toilet, but moved to front of pedestal sink), Bjorn step stool next to toilet where kids can get it, Kandoo wipes on shelf above toilet, Aquaduck on faucet, pump soap on sink, towel pulled down low so they can get it
- Upstairs bathroom (UB): Same as DB, except bar soap (important for novelty)
We were as ready as we were going to get. I set it up, talked to every adult involved (including preschool teacher) and we started potty training at the beginning of a long weekend.
Having Twins
7 week ultrasound
People like to ask me what it’s like to have twins.
…..
Well.
……
There’s two of them.
……
OK, OK, more info. First, pregnancy was more complicated because they were always checking to see how they were developing. Second, the larva stage was a nightmare. People complain about having to feed their newborns every 3 hours. Well, try feeding and changing and putting down two in that same time period.
Eventually, you realize that the kids now outnumber you and they definitely make you feel surrounded. No baby/kid is born with any patience and sharing is something they’ve never heard of. Until we tell them about it. Ha. Ha.
As twins get older they like to go their separate ways. At least one of them will do it at a full run. I hope you went to the gym sometime after giving birth because you’re going to have to get them. (More about this later.)
Soon you’ll be trying to teach them and realize again that they are actual people with different interests, strengths, and weaknesses. You’ll start trying to give them equal opportunities while wondering if you’re being fair every time the louder one asks for something and gets it while the quieter one gets something they might not even want.
They play together. They learn to walk at the same time. One does it just to ensure she gets wherever her sister is going, first. They boss each other around and get into screaming fights. Sister is always there as playmate and rival. They give each other things. They play superhero together and argue over who gets to be who. They’re sweet to each other and they’re sick of each other. They tell you what the other one really wants or meant.
And you watch all this and think how amazing they are.
And you feel a little superior to people who only have one and haven’t done the things you’ve done or haven’t been as lucky as you.
……
There. It’s all so… disgustingly emotional.
Here. Lookit this awesome Xtranormal movie about having twin babies: Moms of multiples are freaks of nature. I got an Xtranormal account just because of this video.
PS. Of course we’re not superior. Gimme a break.